A Half Hour in the life of Mama

So many people have been asking why I don't keep up my blog more often.  People, I LOVE to write.  It's like therapy for me, and all day long, I write articles in my head of what I know would make people laugh (all non fiction, of course).  Yeah, it's called MY LIFE, and it's funny stuff.  I am trying to find more time to write....for entertainment purposes, but also so we can have a daily account of our life.  I'm pretty sure one day I'll completely lose my mind and forget everything that happened during these days of raising babies.  :) 

One day, when one of my inevitably smart ass children ask me what I did all day when I was a stay at home mom, I have a mental list of things to tell them, but yesterday, another resounding answer #32 came to mind. 

Here is a mere 30 minutes of my life:

I was sitting at the kitchen table tracing Winnie the Pooh party posters with a marksalot, while my audience, Ella and Amelia watched.  Olivia was wobbling around on the floor.  Amelia hops up from the table and starts running around the living room, poking her fingers into her diaper, "I GOT POO POO!  I GOT POO POO!!  CHANGE ME!!  CHANGE ME!!"  We're on that brink of wanting to be potty trained, aware we have something in our diaper, but too lazy or unmotivated to actually sit down on a potty to do it.  Afraid she might stick a finger in actual poo, I got up from the table for just a second to grab a diaper and wipes that were nearby....

Just a second....ughhhh.

Remembering I just left two kids at a table with marksalot and my cup of coffee, I turned around just in time to see Olivia, a week shy from 1 year old, reach up on top of my kitchen table and grab my cup of coffee.  Now, before I start getting calls from CPS, 1.  This is the first time she has reached up that high, and 2. I am well aware that my coffee cup is full of luke warm coffee.  I never drink hot coffee, for mutliple reasons....mainly because I don't like scalding hot coffee and by the time I actually get to drinking it, the coffee pot has long been shut off.  Nonetheless, she reached for the cup, and in like slow motion, I went to avoid it spilling, with no such luck.  The large cup spilled all down her side, onto the floor, shattering into large, ceramic pieces.  Let's not even dawn on the fact that those are my favorite mugs from a set that are no longer made!  That's not the point, I guess....

Afraid that maybe that cup was NOT luke warm, I checked her first to make sure she was ok, and she looked at me and smiled and said, "uh oh!" (her favorite words right now).  She's fine....I picked her up and brought her to the den, ripped off her shirt and put her on the floor for a second.

"DON'T MOVE, ELLA - THERE'S GLASS ON THE FLOOR!"

I return to the kitchen to pick up te large chunks of glass and throw them away.

"ELLA, DON'T TOUCH THAT MARKSALOT," and I continue threatening her from future summer fun.  She abides, thank GOD!

"POO POO!!  POO POO!!  CHANGE ME!!"

The baby starts for the kitchen.  I bring her back into the den and wipe her down quickly with a wipe to get the sticky coffee off.  Her hair is in a sticky mohawk straight from "Something About Mary." 

"DON'T MOVE, ELLA!"

"CHANGE ME!!  CHANGE ME!"

I start sopping up the gallon of coffee from the floor with paper towels, picking up the little pieces of glass, when I turn around to see Amelia's diaper hanging on by one tab.  "POO POO!!!"

Wonderful!  I go back into the den to start changing her diaper at lightning speed.  Seriously, I could do that with my eyes closed. 

"DON'T MOVE, ELLA!!"

Ella, completely ignoring me, hops up from the table, hops around the spilled coffee, runs out of the kitchen and across the den.  "I HAVE TO POO POO!!"

Good Lord!!  As I finish up on Amelia's diaper, Ella calls from the bathroom.  "CAN YOU TURN ON THE LIGHT FOR ME?"  There's a stool in there right under the switch.  What!?  "IT'S LOOSE, MOM!"  She has diarrhea.  Lovely.

Turn on light for Ella.  Run to kitchen just in time to pull Olivia away from going in.  I finish cleaning up the coffee, and I run a quick steam mop to take care of the stickyness.  There.  Cleaner than it was when we started.  One plus! 

"MOM, CAN YOU COME WIPE ME??"

Take care of that and return to find Olivia sitting in the middle of the shiny kitchen floor, splashing her hands in a large puddle of chunky banana spit up. 

And your thirty minutes are up!!

*Just a disclaimer - I am well aware that my life is crazy because I made it that way, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  I LOVE my kids, and I LOVE being a mother, and this craziness is what keeps me sane.  :)  Besides, what else would I have to write about it if life were boring!??